Show up in the moment. Embody kindness. Express gratitude. Our Elul messages this month have explored all these ways to embody Jewish values, and in this, the last week of Elul, there is one last big idea to contemplate.
In Jewish life, there is a certain emphasis on the importance of living in community and taking collective responsibility. However, Judaism is not strictly a community-focused tradition. The needs or wants of the group do not always take precedence over the needs or wants of the individual. In Jewish philosophy, there is a sense of balance and tension between individual and communal, which is visible at all levels of our tradition from the words in the liturgy which switch back and forth between “I,” “you,” and “we,” to the long tradition in Jewish law of preserving minority opinions and respecting the rights of individual Jewish communities to develop their own unique customs and norms.
In this last week of Elul, what does it mean to prepare to enter the Days of Awe? Seeking forgiveness from our fellow humans is something we are encouraged to do all year long, not to wait until the Days of Awe. Prayers in the synagogue on these holiest days do not have us turn to our neighbors to ask forgiveness. Instead, they require intense inner focus, contemplating our inner, individual work of self-improvement. We are, of course, encouraged to do this at all times, but sometimes it helps to have a period of intense opportunity to engage with the ongoing struggle and challenge of admitting our imperfections.
It can be hard to accept things that are not “perfect” by our standards. It can be especially hard to admit to ourselves when we could stand to improve and take actionable steps to improve our failings. It can feel much easier, in the moment, to find excuses and reasons that these failings are really due to a series of external circumstances that ultimately mean we do not hold ourselves accountable for the choices we made which led to those circumstances.
The High Holy Days are here to teach us that accepting who we are in this moment does not have to mean accepting the things we don’t want or don’t like about ourselves. Quite the opposite, in order to shape ourselves into the person we wish to become, we must first acknowledge the person that we are. It is not enough to apply only to other people the values of inclusivity and seeing humans as made in the image of the Divine. Instead, during this last week before our intense inner “workout” begins, we should contemplate how these values apply to ourselves.
If I am made in the image of God, but I am not perfected, what does that mean? Perhaps it means that “God” is not a finite object, but rather an infinite process, and being in the image of God means that we are caught up in the rushing river of this process whether we like it or not. Will we hold on, stubbornly trying to stay exactly as we are? Will we fear change so much that we refuse to accept our current reality and therefore also refuse to accept all the possible means of improvement? Sometimes, accepting who we are right now means letting go of that emotional attachment to the illusion of a permanent and unchanging self. We are always changing, even if the change is just being more stubborn in our resistance of self-improvement.
This year let’s try to approach the Days of Awe with an attitude of radical acceptance of both our flaws AND our potential. When we reach down deep within ourselves, we can create a stable platform inside ourselves, a place to step outside of reactive feelings like jealousy, anger, and frustration. From this stable platform, we can survey our responses to the outer world and decide if that is the person we want to be. By harnessing the power of acceptance, we can make a raft to navigate the rushing river of change.
May our journeys be fruitful.
Shanah Tovah!
Cantor Sarah Beck-Berman
Cantor & B'nei Mitzvah Coordinator
Congregation Beth Ahabah
